And one day i ve understand that all i want is a nonsense... … by the well know romanian author Adrian Dumitru
And one day i ve understand that all i want is a nonsense... … by the well know romanian author Adrian Dumitru
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I keep remembering that Buddha used to say that ... the desire is the source of the pain ... of all humans.
Initially ... i treated this theory as a stupidity.
Then ... i've realised ... i am not smarter than Buddha ... so ...
And I've started to meditate.
More and more.
Suddenly ... I've realised that all those desires from my soul and my mind ... were ... illusory.
I keep saying ... "I want ... ".
Everyday.
Maybe since i was a little baby.
And ... i keep saying it.
"I want ... i want ... want ... want ..."
Somehow ... today ... i know i am wrong.
But ... i still say it.
I even try to forbidden myself ... to have desires.
... in any abstract form they might appear to me.
I consider ... all related to that ... a nonsense.
... a stupidity.
Unfortunately ... done in continuous form ... by so, so many years.
But ... realistically ... i keep balancing.
Having desires ... and forbidden to myself to be dominated by them.
I meditate.
I write my thoughts.
I try to disconnect from my thoughts.
Cause ... i am not my thoughts.
I am not my feelings ... or my emotions.
And i must not stay connected to that side of mine ... which is always coming up with new ... and new desires.
Unfortunately .... I consider this point where i am now ... still ... a nonsense.
Cause ... it clearly states .... I am not following yet .... my real spiritual journey to ... awakening.
Like Buddha ... did.
Of course ... is still ... a progress.
... cause i agree with Buddha.
I understand ... and i accept my involution.
Also ... living with hope into my soul.
... that things will change.
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philosophical essays” written by the romanian writer Adrian Gabriel Dumitru for FREE.
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